Behind the Mask
by Vandagirl
Summary: Oneshot I submitted in a contest. The untold portion of the episode Masks. Very slight RobStar. Read and review.


Red X.

The one who would lead me to Slade. The one who would let me finally see him face to face. The one who would get Slade to let me in on his plans.

_I kneeled at the edge of the shore, holding the Slade-bot's head in my hands. He stood in front of a camera, as if he were afraid to face me. I watched this video through the robot's head, waiting for him to spill. He said, "If you're really so curious about my intentions, perhaps we should meet. Face to face."_

"_Tell me where you're hiding and I'll be there in a heartbeat!" I retorted angrily._

"_Patience, Robin. Patience." The transmission began to fail._

_To hell with patience. I'm going there now._

Red X.

The one who forced me to abandon my team. The one who forced me to commit crime. The one who forced me to work alone.

_I stood at the top of the building at night, disguised in an all-black costume with a skull-shaped mask covering my entire head and a red x crossing my torso. The Titans stood to face me, having no idea who was behind the mask. Cyborg pointed his sonic cannon at me and accused, "You working for Slade, tough guy?"_

"_Red X works alone." I answered, distorting my voice._

Red X.

The one who failed to lead me to Slade. The one who failed to let me see him face to face. The one who failed to get Slade to let me in on his plans.

_He was right there, above me. We were on top of a building with a bright red billboard behind us. He stared down at me as I knelt on the cold ground. "Careful. I wouldn't want you getting hurt," he said.  
_

"_I'm not the one who's going to get hurt. Now hand them over!" I shouted, referring to the chips I stole for him.  
_

"_Robin. I thought we had a deal."  
_

"_Sorry. I have a strict rule against giving stolen technology to psychos."  
_

"_How very noble of you. But stealing in order to trap me? That wasn't so noble. Two wrongs don't make a--"  
_

"_Don't ever lecture me!" I screamed in rage. "Whatever you're planning, Slade, it's over!"_

"_Oh, on the contrary, Robin. It's just begun."_

Red X.

The one who made me get yelled at by my team. The one who made a criminal out of me. The one who made me feel like I worked alone.

And I still think I'm working alone.

"_Dude! What the heck is your problem? You _said_ you were doing research! Not setting up a date with Slade while kicking the crud out of us! I mean, this whole thing about meeting Slade has gone totally berserk in your brain! Don't you have anything better to do than fighting your own teammates? Ok, so we're not nearly as obsessed as you are about catching Slade. That doesn't mean that we have to feel like we're just getting in your way!"_

"_Yo, I don't know what your deal is, man, but don't you even know what the word 'teammate' means? We're not here, we didn't form this team, just so we could fight you and watch you kick our butts! You're not the only person who wants to catch Slade, so why do you act like you are?! Man, you've got a lot of nerve to treat us like worthless kids getting in the way of our almighty leader."_

"_I don't meditate hours a day just so you can treat me like a joke. I joined this team so that I could feel like I was doing the right thing, not so you can imply how worthless everyone is except for you just because you want to see Slade face to face. By the way, great idea, Robin. Turn yourself into our enemy. That will definitely help us with our mission against Slade. Or maybe I should say 'your' mission, since you seem to think this mission is just about you."_

They're right. I'm the only person who seems to care about this mission. No wonder they can't see how important it is for me to catch Slade. To them it's like there isn't even an enemy out there!

Which is _exactly_ why I have to catch him.

Red X didn't get me to him anyway. It was a mistake. I knew that before they yelled at me. Some leader. I can't even get things to work out the way they were supposed to. I should be doing what I can to protect everyone, not put them in danger.

"_Ok, so we're not nearly as obsessed as you are about catching Slade. That doesn't mean that we have to feel like we're just getting in your way!"_

"_Man, you've got a lot of nerve to treat us like worthless kids getting in the way of our almighty leader."_

"_I don't meditate hours a day just so you can treat me like a joke."_

Or treat the ones who can help me like pitiful sidekicks instead of teammates. Of all the people on this team, I should know better.

My room was dark, as usual. I sat at my desk, staring at all the articles and clues I discovered over the past month or so, hoping something would draw me to him. I shuffled through everything on my desk, a few things falling to the floor, yet I still longed for some magical hunch. Something, anything, but I had nothing underneath all this junk. All this evidence. All this worthless shit. I shoved it all to the floor, joining the few that already dropped. I didn't care about the mess, I just wanted answers revealed about Slade. The junk did nothing before, it does nothing now.

The longing for clues was why I turned into Red X in the first place. I had no real evidence about his mission. What are his motives? Why is he so interested in the city? Why is he so interested in us? In me?

And why am I so interested in him?

I dug my fingers into my hair and pulled in frustration. My elbows slid on the wood-colored table until my nose touched the cold surface.

No, I'm drawn to him because he's a criminal, and I'm a hero. That's just the way things work. The criminals hate the citizens and the heroes, and the heroes try to save the day. It's that simple.

But it's not.

There's more to it than just being a bad guy and a good guy. If it were as simple as it sounds I'd feel the same way for every other villain. There's something about Slade that reminds me of…

Then again, I've caught every other villain we've ever faced. So why can't I catch Slade?

I stood from my desk and stared at the mask on my wall pensively. Of all the articles and junk covering it, to me the mask seemed to be the only object there. I continued being entranced by it, hoping his eye would just glow an answer. I shouldn't harbor on false hope, but there didn't seem to be any other kind of hope left.

What the hell could keep me so engrossed, obsessed, with him? What importance is he to me, besides him just being a criminal and me just being a hero? It's the excuse I always made, because I didn't have any other answer, not because I believed it was the truth. What truth is behind Slade that has to do with me?

I heard the door open. From the corner of my eye I knew it was Starfire, but I didn't turn to look at her. I couldn't bear it, to imagine her sweet face turn sour at my mistake. She was the last person I wanted to hurt and I probably ended up hurting her the most.

"You want to yell at me too?" I asked, pulling the mask from the wall. "Everyone else has. And I don't blame them." I decided to turn around and lean against the wall, but I didn't look at her. My eyes remained focused on the mask and as far as I was concerned, they would stay there.

To my surprise, she answered, "I do not wish to yell, merely to understand." I could feel her presence drawing closer. "Robin, why did you not tell us the truth?"

Why _didn't_ I tell them the truth? I mean, I knew why, but my reason only proved that I needed to tell them so I could have avoided making that mistake. But this was Starfire talking. I had to answer. "I needed to fool Slade. If you guys knew it was me under that mask, you would've held back." After saying that, I felt like an idiot. It made me reflect even more on what could've been avoided during the past couple days. She didn't respond, so I added, "Doesn't matter anyway. Slade figured it out, and I still haven't figured out anything about him."

"That is not true," she spoke. I finally decided to look at her face. Her large green eyes glowed, literally, with concern. She continued, "Whoever Slade is, you and he are... similar."

What?

"Slade did not trust you—and you did not trust us."

I only stared at her, trying to look as emotionless as possible. I had to in order to hide it all. I had nothing else to say that I would allow her to hear. I gripped the mask more tightly, but I still stared at her as she wandered out the door. She gave me one last reproachful look, but I didn't respond. She only closed the door behind her.

She was no longer there to put my focus on, so I switched back to the mask. It felt colder, yet more familiar. I gripped it more tightly, almost cutting my fingers through my rubber gloves from the sharper edges.

"_Whoever Slade is..."_

Don't tell me that...

"_You and he are..."_

Don't tell me that!

"_Similar."_

I SAID DON'T TELL ME THAT!

I grinded my teeth and screamed in fury as I chucked the damn thing against the wall on the other side of the room. I could hear the wall being damaged, but I couldn't hear the thing break. I panted slowly. Beads of sweat dropped from my forehead to the ground. My legs grew numb as I fell on my knees.

"_Whoever Slade is..."_

"NO!" I cried. "Stop it!"

"_Slade did not trust you—and you did not trust us."_

That's not true. I trust you, Starfire.

"_Don't you have anything better to do than fighting your own teammates?"_

Yes Beast Boy. I have something better to do than fight you guys.

"_We're not here, we didn't form this team, just so we could fight you and watch you kick our butts!"_

I know, Cyborg. I didn't want this team just so I could kick your butts either.

"_I joined this team so that I could feel like I was doing the right thing, not so you can imply how worthless everyone is except for you just because you want to see Slade face to face."_

You aren't worthless, Raven.

I just need to get my act together and prove it.

I picked myself up from the floor and stepped toward the mask. I bent to pick it up, and held it lightly between my thumb and my middle finger. Answers couldn't glow out of his eye, and throwing it at the wall on the other side wouldn't make things any different from the way they are now, other than making another dent.

What can make a difference is let my teammates help me defeat him.

I know I can't do it alone. I'm no good at working alone. I know that now.

I put the mask back on my desk. I grew worn out, so I lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, relaxing my mind. I had to sleep this through.

But no matter how relaxed my mind became, those words still lingered.

"_Whoever Slade is, you and he are... similar."_


End file.
